Recognizing the self by photography!

Photography is my special interest. I love experiencing all kinds of photography, from arty to journalistic. However, I prefer an anthropological approach to societies. I like to discover all the hidden dimensions of each culture. In fact my photos explain how I view my surroundings. They indicate the angle from which I observe and the quality of them from my point of view. They always raise some questions: Do I see my surroundings smaller or bigger than their real sizes? Do they look sharp or blurred? How do their colours look like? Do they seem beautiful or ugly? Do they attract others? Etc. 

I also do like nature photography. When you take photos of humans, they might seem different, sorrowful or delightful. Nevertheless nature photography mostly deals with beauties, from clear blue sky to dark rainy clouds, from mountains to deserts, from seas and oceans to rivers, from trees to flowers, from wild animals to domestic pets, etc.They are all adorable and lively. 

I prefer old and vintage objects to modern, particularly digital, ones. I like artistic architecture. Object photography is quite popular. Even though, to me, taking photo of an object means you give life to them. That is why photography is a kind of creativity exercise, in which you develop this ability in yourself.  

Photography simply reflects what I like more and what I dislike. It exposes the tracks of my train of thought. It explores the beauty of things. It is a sign. A sign that indicates which paths I choose to see all around me. Let’s do photography then and enjoy recognizing the self. 

The quality of life

Last week I was reading a book in a part of which, an example was given of Nicolae Ceau ̧sescu, the dictator of Romania between 1966 to 1989. It said when the dictator came to power, he banned abortion. In those years abortion was the main form of preventing the birth of unwanted children. In a year after that the birth rate was doubled. He wanted to strengthen his power by increasing the population. Most people were suffering from poverty in his country. They felt miserable. He forced women to get pregnant; otherwise he had agents called ‘Menstrual Police’ who regularly went to women's workplace and asked them for pregnancy tests. If a woman repeatedly failed to show positive in her test, she had to pay a fine called ‘celibacy tax’. When the riots happened in 1989 in the streets of Timisoara, the fact was revealed. Most of the exasperate protesters were the youth. At least a noticeable part of them were those that were supposed to strengthen the government. He could not resist the riots and uprising of his people and tried to escape the country with his wife. People captured them and they were executed by a firing squad.

The story of Ceau,sescu awakened my memories. Actually he was visiting my country, when the streets of Timisoara were filled by those young protesters. Nobody could guess that he and his wife would get executed when they got back. It was quite shocking. In fact most of the revolutions happen so quickly, but the dictators never learn. They do not think similar stories would happen to them as well.

The Underground injury

Last Monday the first Iran's world-cup football match was held. A young friend called and invited me to watch the match in his flat with some other friends. I accepted. Although I am not into football, I did not like to lose this opportunity to see others’ excitement and joy. 

It was a bit late when I left my home, so I was in a hurry not to lose a part of the match. It was rush hour too. I assumed public transport to be packed. I chose the Underground as I had a long way to go, but I needed to change the line in the middle of the route at Warren Street to get to the Northern line. When I got there, I saw that the Underground train was there at the platform, but ready to depart. I hurried to push myself into it, the doors were closing though and they trapped me severely from my sides. For a moment I felt I could not breathe anymore. Fortunately the doors opened and I could push myself into the carriage. Then it set off. I was in a dreadful pain. I could not stand. Other people were watching me sympathetically. I was lucky enough to find an empty seat, even though the car was packed with people. I closed my eyes, tried to relax and gather myself. I could not breathe deeply, but I felt I had not broken my bones. The pain got much less after minutes when I reached my destination, still without the possibility of taking deep breaths. 

I had a great night with those friends. However I was still suffering from the pain particularly with any movement. At home, when I lay down on my bed, an extreme pain with shivering started. I felt I could not bear it. I could not move. The pain was killing me. I thought it might be a crack on my ribs when the incident happened and now the bones got separated. I asked my wife to call an ambulance if the situation got worse. She kindly provided a hot water bottle and helped me to take some strong pain killers. I went to a deep sleep after a while.

"Get up; I got an appointment for you to see a doctor. You must go now." This was my wife, trying to wake me up in the next morning. I tried to move and realised the pain was much less. I went and visited the doctor. He examined me and put me on pain killers. He did not believe that I had broken my ribs, but it was a possibility of them being cracked by the strong pressure. 

It was not worth putting myself in such risk for saving a few minutes at all. I will be more careful with the Underground in the future. 

World Naked Bike Ride

Yesterday was the World Naked Bike Ride Day, WNBD. I went out to watch it. There were six starting points around London and then they were supposed to merge at Westminster Bridge which is the most central point of the city. The event was to start at 2-2:30pm, so I thought I can catch them at around 3pm at the merging point.

Three years ago, my family and I went out for a nice walk in St. James's Park. It was there and then that we came across such an event. Before that we had no idea about it. We all got shocked when we saw them. Most people around us were cheering and taking photos and videos of the naked cyclists. Later on, I read about it a bit more when we got home and I realized that this is a worldwide campaign basically about defending the nature and against oil consuming. The campaigners also demand safer roads for the cyclists. The event is hold in many big cities around the world, especially in Europe every year simultaneously on a fixed day in June.

What I saw yesterday was interesting. The event raised several questions: how did thousands of people convince themselves to attend such an event? Were they just from one social class or were they from varied classes with different revenues and levels of education? Were they just the youth? How was their gender distribution? Was it an anarchy movement against the norms and values of the society? Would it count as the disobedience of the minority against the majority? Could there be any imaginable accomplishment for the movement? What has been the result in the previous years? In terms of psychological indexes, was it an exciting activity which could be considered to work against depression or similar mental disorders? What should be the government's reaction? Ignoring the movement, controlling it or stopping and suppressing it? Etc.

Personally I have no idea about the answers. However according to my observation, I can assume that the attendants were from both genders, from various ages, different educational backgrounds, and with varied incomes. I saw that most of them were quite happy and the reaction of the people on the street were mostly welcoming. The movement was extremely peaceful and I did not see any violence at all, not from the people and not from the officials. I take the movement seriously as a noticeable case study in sociology, anthropology, social psychology, politics, etc. As a journalist and a researcher, I like to see such events and study about them.

The horse riding experience

It was a surprising gift. About two and a half months ago my wife gave me a horse riding experience as a Nowrouz gift. Nowrouz is an ancient Persian ceremony to celebrate the New Year. Persian New Year coincides with the first day of spring in late March.

All I needed to do was setting an appointment and then redeem my coupon. I had booked the first appointment for two weeks ago, but the accident happened and I had pain in my leg, so I postponed it until yesterday.

The session was supposed to take three hours. The location was somewhere in the suburb, North London. I reached there on time. It was a vast green field and you could smell the stables from outside. At the front of the field, there was a small cottage and, beside it, a fenced garden. The cottage was used as the office. In the garden there were a few children, probably 4-5 years old, with their teachers. They were some playing and some sitting on the benches, apparently waiting for the school bus to come and pick them up. 

I entered the office and introduced myself. They asked me to fill a registration form, enquiring basic information about my health, connections and also my previous experiences of horse riding, if I had any. Actually I had a few, but they went back to many years ago, perhaps 10-15 years ago, and I hardly remembered any instructions! Therefore I preferred to introduce myself as a basic beginner.

When I was done, a young and short lady came and introduced herself as my instructor. Subsequently we went for picking a riding helmet and boots. It was there that I realised we were a group of three. Two young ladies, probably in their twenties, joined the session. 

First, the instructor started our tour with showing the stables. They were maintaining 160 horses and ponies in a number of various breeds and ages there. She showed us most of them and explained shortly about different types of every breed. One thing which was surprising for me was that most horses change their colours by the time they get older, from a darker to brighter colour. I had no idea about it. She also explained about their food, their health, their hygiene, their values, their passports, their ownership, the differences among breeds, their speed and power, their retirement, their holidays, etc. Then we went to the storage rooms, where they kept horses' belongings like saddles and reins. All of them were kept under the name of every individual horse. The whole information was quite interesting. 

During our visit we met many people, adults and children, who were leading a horse. Some of them seemed professional and many looked like they had attended just for fun. 

Then we went to one of the indoor schools for riding. The instructor allocated the horses to us in terms of our height and weight. My horse's name was Fewie. He was black, tall, extremely beautiful and quite intelligent. We got on the horses. Each horse was held and controlled by an individual expert. The instructor started to teach us how well we should sit, hold the reins and keep our feet. Then we started to walk gradually and she taught us how to keep our back, breathe easily, be as relaxed as possible and go up and down with the horses' movement simultaneously.

It was entirely safe. However when my horse ran, I felt a bit unstable. All in all, it was a very exciting experience. I learnt a lot, but unfortunately the instructor had a strong accent and it was quite difficult for me to understand all her words. I loved the experience and now I am thinking of attending again more regularly.

Stuart

Stuart is our nice neighbour. He has got a green thumb. He lives in a small flat nearby. His flat should be a suite or at most a one double bedroom. He has got a small front garden. The garden is filled with a number of various plants, full of colourful flowers.

Since around a year ago, he started to decorate all around his flat, including his neighbours’ front gardens and the communal area, with his beautiful flowers. Then he developed this decoration on the walls, in front of windows, and on the roofs; wherever it could be a showing place.

A month ago my wife and I thought it was worth it to get some advice from him. Actually we do not have a front garden. We have a medium size balcony, where we have got several troughs of flowers. Two years ago, when we moved to this flat, we had several pelargoniums. In fact, the previous residents left them for us. They were beautiful, flourishing in three colours: white, pink, and red.

This year we felt pelargoniums were getting a bit oldand my wife was keen to replace them with something different. She wanted herbs and varied flowers. Stuart was the best one to get advice from and we went to him. He asked us to give him some time to study more. After a few days he came up with the idea of six different species of thymes in two bigger troughs, three in each. My wife smiled and accepted. He bought them for us and made the new troughs with thymes. After a while my wife saw his mints in front of his flat and asked him about them. It was then that we learnt there are so many types of mints. He offered us one of his mint flowerpots. A few days later, he came up with the idea of fuchsia and petunia flowers. Now we have got a big trough of three varied types of fuchsia, and a smaller trough of petunia. Then my wife had a chat with him about chives and he grew a bunch of chives for us. We have kept a trough of red pelargonium from the past as well.

Now our balcony has various types of colourful flowers and herbs exactly as my wife had desired. They are lovely and look great. The petunias scent every evening. All the flowers are quite joyful and, above that, we are happy for the experience. The flowers have connected us more closely to Stuart and we have learnt more about these plants.

Family or friends?

Following my writing about happiness, I raise this question this time that, in terms of happiness, which one is more important: family or friends?

I think there is no certain general answer to this question. Every single person could have their own priority. However, both play essential roles. There are not comparable though. If connections between friends are cut, they could be parted forever. Persons amid a family can be parted, but the blood relation between them is undeniable.

Loneliness is one of the major reasons for not being happy. Quality plays a more important role here than quantity. Good relations are not merely related to a greater number of close people, no matter friends or relatives. It depends on the quality of how close people are to each other, and whether they can rely on each other, particularly in tough times. If  that is the case, people will feel more content.

As a conclusion, I think the topic question does not seem right at all. Never will there be a clear answer for such a question. Different conditions will require different answers. However, some ideologies might have certain answers. Sociological and psychological approaches cannot follow such paths. Ideologies are always firm about phenomenon, but science takes a relative approach. Being one of the family or friends is not very vital: happiness is the subject that should be attract more attention.

The tough night

The night before last I experienced the most intense accident I have ever had in my life. It was late in the evening I was on my way back from my journey to the University of Oxford.. Usually, every other Tuesday, I attend the Iranian history speeches run by Professor Homa Katouzian at St. Antony's College. Last Tuesday was one of those seminars too. A young friend there offered to give me a lift home. I thanked him and wanted to go back as usual by the public bus, but he insisted. At last I accepted. We had a beautiful chat together all the way to London. Amid the conversation, he mentioned that he had bought his car recently, and this was his fourth Toyota Yaris. He said: "I can vouch for Yaris based on ample personal experience, and this is a good one.”

When we were on a main road quite close to my house, out of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a narrow sideway and we crashed into this car. The accident was extremely intense.  Both cars were so entirely damaged that they could not move any more. The accident happened very quickly, in a fraction of a second. The first thing I paid attention to was our safety. No one was really injured. However, my leg hit the dashboard and I was in real pain. I tried to move my leg to find out whether it was broken or not. Fortunately it seemed OK. My friend who was driving us asked the other driver how he was doing. He was OK too. Seconds after that, suddenly, we saw the other car is trying to move. A pedestrian on the street cried: "Be careful. He is escaping!" Actually the driver of the other car was trying to, but he could not because the right wheel of his car was totally displaced. When he realised he could not move, he got off, came to me and asked whether we could declare someone else as the driver? "I am not the one who decides,” I said, and pointed out to my friend as the owner of the damaged car. He was talking on his mobile by the time. I could not believe it, seconds after that, the young driver disappeared.

The street was entirely blocked by these two cars. A taxi driver behind us came and gave all his details to my friend, volunteering to testify on his behalf if needed. I admired him as responsible citizen. He said he had seen first the accident and then the young driver's disappearance. After a few minutes a new man came and said: "I was the driver!" It was another shock. He was not alone; he came with a bunch of people, his family perhaps. An observer told me to be cautious, because they might deny the truth and create a new story, quite the opposite of what had actually happened. I was quite confused.

It was rainy and a bit cold. After standing ten minutes out in a corner of the street, I noticed that I was shivering. I did not know the true reason behind my shivering. Was it from the rainy cold weather or was it from the shock caused by the accident?

The whole process took about three hours until police came and received our report, then the insurance company sent somebody to collect the damaged car.

It was one hour after midnight when I got home, all soaked, tired, and in a real pain. I could not believe what had happened and felt sorry for all the loss my friend had suffered just because of me. Even though it is hard to compensate for his car, I feel I have to. I will try my best to make it up to him.

Small joys

There are two approaches to happiness. One is when a person feels happiness in the depth of their soul. This is called true happiness, for example when somebody gets united with a true love. It is when a person discovers a treasure. It could be both materialistic and spiritual. The other approach which is more realistic is called small joys, for instance a particular look, a smile, a taste of food, or a song, etc.

Omar Khayyam, a famous Iranian philosopher, poet, astronomer and mathematician who lived 5 centuries ago has a particular thought that focuses on the present moment--not the past and not the future, just now. He stresses that future is not in our hands, and the past has passed, so wise people stick to their present time and make the best out of it. This approach caused him to be labeled as a determinist, which is beyond our argument, so I will skip further explanation on this point.

Modern era raised most restrictions and therefore decreased instances of heartfelt happiness. Lives were not as simple as before. People had to struggle more for less gains. Happiness seemed far to be achieved. Instead it was altered to stress, depression and all mental disease. More discoveries in the twentieth century particularly in technology and science resulted in more welfare and physical well-being, but it did not bring about more happiness. In fact, year after year people felt they faced to a more complicated world. Therefore humankind felt more bewildered. However the question of happiness was extremely central. A very important accomplishment was overcoming deep sorrows and neurotic tensions.

In order to find a way out of this complex, Khayyam thought was reread. If we could not access A, we would alter B. In other words, if we do not have 100, reaching whatever figure between 1 and 99 would be better than 0. Of course, the higher, the better. According to Khayyam: “The past has passed. We are not sure about the future. Let us enjoy the present.” The world has welcomed Khayyam more than before in the past twenty years. His poem anthology –Rubaiyat-- has been translated to many languages and has been among bestsellers in the most important cultural fields. Also there were many seminars and researches about his thought in academia. This indicates that his thought has become more popular since then.

Replacing deeper joys with small happiness is an adaptation from Khayyam's train of thought. However small joys might not seem worthwhile, since they are accessible to all, they vary and numerous. Psychologists recommend that if people know their specific small joys, they could add the dosage of them in their everyday lives and increase their happiness. Summing up all these small joys increases one's contentment.

I have listed some of my small joys once and might publish it here.

A letter to the French consulate in London

Dear consulate,

Today I had an appointment in Exhibition House to apply for visa for my son. He is going to Lille with his school in a language trip for three days. Unfortunately he is the only one that needs a visa in their group, so the school was unable to apply on his behalf. The appointment time was at 12. I reached there half an hour early and an officer told me to stand in a long queue.

I had asked the school to provide me a letter stating that my son was in the trip, and their travel plan and all documents about their trip. They wrote a letter explaining the trip and the hotel reservation and the times of their travel with Eurostar train. The letter also stated that my son was chosen for the trip with some other children and that we had paid for the trip, and they have insured the students in the trip. Your officer treated the letter as missing document. I can ask the school to explain more, but I am not sure they can provide as much as your officer wanted. For example I recon they have booked the train and the hotel for a group not for each student by their names. Etc.

The main issue, I am writing this letter to you is about the waste of my son's and my time for this visa. It took a whole four hours being there. I am a scholar and a publisher here in Britain. When I left the Exhibition House it was after 3:30. Why should I spend my son's and myself's entire day just for a visa? I think the process was too slow and it needs a real improvement.

The other point is about some of staff's behaviour. I am sorry to say that I found some unfriendly and a bit harsh manner from the staff.

All in all, my son is going to a three day language trip. His school took all the responsibility and gave me this letter which I provided to you, along with all other documents needed from our part. Why should the process be that much tough? How could it treat this as a big deal? And more importantly why some of your staff should behave not very appropriately? And why does the process of taking the documents take so long? Why should they waste people's time?

I hope this letter does not affect my son's application in a wrong way, and that it gives you a taste of the atmosphere of this office.

Ways to happiness

How can mankind reach happiness? We can apply a philosophical or social approach to answer this question. Here I leave the first one and stick mostly to the second. I will mention some factors which result in happiness:

First, calmness. Anxiety, worry, depression and other mental tensions get humankind far from being happy. On the other hand, the calmer one feels, the more one can enjoy the surrounding beauties.

Second, tolerance. Modern era has created more cities rather than people remaining in their countryside. Cities have their pros and cons. One of their main disadvantages is that people are more atomized in the cities. Therefore their personal interests grow apart. They seek more beneficial lives and it causes more conflicts. Tolerance is the most useful characteristic for avoiding these conflicts as much as possible. Fewer conflicts will result in more happiness.

Third, dialogue. Misunderstanding is one of those factors which raise conflicts and dialogue is the only way to prevent it. One could say less misunderstanding will heighten the possibility of happiness.

Fourth, compromise. Social contracts like laws and rules from Jean-Jacques Rousseau`s argument need a legitimate and acceptable compromise. A true law will result in more social and personal rights. When one feels that one has an undeniable right, one can count on it and it will result in more social and personal satisfaction which will raise happiness.

Fifth, welfare. Although I do not believe money or possessions can buy happiness, I believe poverty will not cause contentment either. One has to have access to vital needs to live a safe, healthy, and happy life.

Sixth, a meaningful life. Life has to be meaningful for everybody. When I apply the term meaningful it does not refer to a specific ideology or belief. Without it, happiness never deepens.

Seventh, good health. A healthier body can bring happiness and vice versa. Mental and physical health are both important here.

Eighth, joy. Happiness and joy come from the same root. Whatever brings joy will end in happiness. These two are strictly connected.

Ninth, family or friends. Members of family and best friends are one's capital. They play a vital role in one's life particularly in hard times. Their support, their company and their love are exclusive. The idea of having them brings hope and happiness. No matter how far they live from you, what really matters is just this belief that you can rely and count on them.

The ways to happiness could be added, but I think the factors which I mentioned above are the main ones.

The subject –happiness-- will be continued.

The impact of loneliness

My presumption is that mankind is less happier now than decades ago. The question is why? I think the main reason for that is associated with modernity. The modern era has humankind to be lonelier. Even though humanity benefits from a better life nowadays, they cannot keep their peace as before. In fact better life represents higher levels of welfare, well-being, life expectancy, hygiene, education, accommodation and so on. It seemed that obtaining them should make people happy but it has not been that simple. 

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Research shows that the number of  mental disease cases have gone up dramatically year after year in the past half century. One fifth of all adults suffer from a kind of depression. This figure is even higher in the big cities. The rate of suicide has been excessively high. All people have had more things to worry about in their everyday lives. All media are full of upsetting stories resulting from mental disorders. Recently I came across a young friend. Apparently she was quite alright, but she told me she had been in a hospital for the past three months, suffering from a very deep depression. She had received thirty shock treatments. It was unbelievable. She said all her problems started after she had realised her mother had a killing cancer. She had had a very hard and sad situation after that until her mother died. Now, however she was released from the hospital, she was still continuing her strict treatment. She had enough wealth, good education, a beautiful face, a good job, nice comfort life, but all she lacked was happiness. She felt lonely and failed to get out of it. 

I think this is not just her problem. It is the main problem of today’s world. Modernity has developed progress in science vastly, but it has had many side effects as well. Loneliness is at the center of that. In the beginning of last century, people got very excited, dreaming of making an entire distinct world in consequence of the pace of discoveries in many fields. They thought their lives will be incomparable with what it used to be like. Now after almost a century, they have realised, that thought was just a naive and childish perception. Now people know that just progress in science is not enough to feel contented. Therefore they are after happiness, good and meaningful life as well.

This argument will be continued. 

A distinct experience

I visited a mosque yesterday which inspired me to write about it today, instead of carrying on the happiness topic. I will continue that later on. 

The day before yesterday, the family of my deceased friend invited me to this mosque to pray on his body. Praying on a recently dead Muslim body is one of  the  main Islamic rituals. 

I checked the given address and I found it quite far in the North West London. Fortunately one of the underground lines ended around the area. Nevertheless it took one and a half  hours to get there including 28-minutes walk in the hilly roads. I have never been there before. Underground in London usually goes to over ground when it is far from the center. That is why the nearer the car got to the destination, the more beautiful the area became. Houses were beautiful unique architectural villas with artistically designed front gardens. Roads were mostly narrow with a shadow of green tall leafy trees. The whole landscape was extremely dazzling. The scent of the green land and the bird songs caused a good feeling on me. It was intoxicating. I could have enjoyed walking for a long time. I would have liked to close my eyes, quietly sing, and dream!

The mosque belonged to Shias. It was huge and had several halls, divided for different purposes. Even though the whole process was familiar to me, I felt a bit different from what we normally have in Iran. One distinction was about the language. We are not used to hearing English in the mosques. The other difference was associated with its architecture. The main hall was like a renovated old countryside mosque with several arches and high windows. A tiny Mehrab was placed in a corner. The last differences were the rest rooms. They were hygienically clean. The last point I would like to mention here was the lack of hypocrisy. 

The sun was setting and people were getting ready for their prayer. I felt that the atmosphere was spiritual. They brought the coffin calmly, put it in front of the line of more than a hundred praying people and we prayed sadly afterwards. It was surprising for me to see the gathering of so many Iranians in such a faraway place, some had come from other cities.

All in all, it was a quite enjoyable and valuable experience, and on top of everything, the last chance for me to say goodbye to this gracious friend. I wish him to rest in peace forever.

Happiness

Not very long ago, good governance was all about a progress process with lack of corruption. People wanted welfare and good luck for their offspring. Now things are seen a bit differently. People in the developed world have access to their indispensable needs such as vital medical services, good education, efficient transport systems, obtaining accommodation, supporting the vulnerable (e.g. the elderly, children, jobless people, patients, poor people) and so on. It seems people have basic welfare and a better apparent life, but credible surveys indicate that people are less satisfied than before. That is why the base of election campaigns between parties in those countries are not just about economic or political quarrels, but partly, it is about how they can boost the quality of life, and the concept of happiness is at its top. They announce their plans, explaining how they will manage to get a better life for everybody. The main question here is: what is a better life? In recent mainstream it represents quality life. Therefore you cannot measure it just by quantity parameters. More important is the level of quality parameters such as happiness or a system with more participatory citizens, more rights for minorities, etc.

In my next piece I will answer the questions, “What is happiness?” And “why people do not feel happier nowadays?”

The quality of spare time

How do you spend your spare time, watching TV shows, or a movie, listening to a radio program, reading a book, drawing a picture, or would you rather enjoy hanging out with a friend? Whatever you choose, it shows a part of your character, and also the society you belong to. For instance here in Britain most people read, but the proportion of reading in my hometown is very low. The main question is: what is the quality of one's spare time? Despite distinct definitions of the words quality or spare time, I would prefer to stick to common sense and raise these questions: considering different types of spare time, how popular are cultural choices? How much do people feel they waste their spare time? What would the percentages of those choices be that require company in comparison to solitary activities? In general, how do they feel about their spare time? How satisfied are they and how frustrated? 

I have not seen any research to find out the answers of these questions yet, but I suppose the more the proportions of cultural options, the more developed you can expect the society to be, and vice versa. As mankind feels more lonely in the modern era, people are more likely to spend their spare time on their own. Also the level of satisfaction depends on their feelings and, on the other hand, on the quality of the choices. One should institute a tight connection between these two: namely sensation and wisdom, not only for spare time, but also applicable to the whole steps of life. 

Social maturity

This morning my wife and I were talking about social maturity during our breakfast. Our younger son just turned 13 a week ago. We think he is still very young. Every morning when I try to wake him up, I enjoy looking at his innocent face. Sometimes he makes excuses to sleep a bit more. He even might get bad tempered, but still he shows his childish character which is adorable. I cannot believe he has reached an age to get married or go to war! Mentioning these examples might seem odd, but it is true. Not very long ago (30 years ago or so) we faced to such things around of us. Speaking of which, my wife said a real story which was shocking: when she was just a 9 or 10 year-old child in a primary school, one of her classmates got married. She even was invited to this wedding party with her parents. She said, it was like a birthday party to me. They were living in a slum area. The groom was around 13 years old, exactly the same as our son. It seems unbelievable now, still true though. Nowadays most people have reached to this conclusion that marriage in an early age is inappropriate. However, this is not my main concern here. My argument is that the youth are more dependent now. They depend on their parents, their friends, their schools or universities, even on their gadgets! More than it used to be in the old times. It is peculiar because the youth's knowledge have definitely increased, thanks to the internet and accessible informative devices. The society feels the youth are less independent. This is another paradoxical dimension of the new world: more knowledge, less abilities. Am I right?